Closer to Big Sky

So it's gonna be me, Matt and new friend Stephen from Matt's work going to Big Sky.  Stephen spends winters at Beaver Creek, Colorado usually but he's lookin to switch it up.  Stephen hails from Washington, he's a chill cat that waits tables and can surely smoke me on a snowboard..which means he'll be pushing me and matt to new sick terrain and challenges for sure this season.  Stoked is an understatement!  The snow will be pounding all season, the quality beer will surely be flowing, and the 350Z gets parked for 3 or 4 months.

We set our leave date for Monday, November 15th...4 weeks.  We are trying to lock in a nice place, we gotta do that soon though cause places are gonna close up quickly.  Gonna be renting a 5x9 flatbed to tow behind Matt's Jeep Cherokee.  I gotta be out of my current place by the 8th.  Probably gonna stay with my friend Erin for a week, then it's time to peace out.


My job at Thirst has turned up to be an overall loss of financial ground.  I like the owners i suppose.  Leslie is cool, especially when she drinks.  Sometimes I think she is the only reason I'm still there.  It seems as though Gary just doesn't trust me.  Charlie is actually a cool, carefree kid..BUT has a horribly noticeable sense of entitlement that causes him to look down on others unconsciously, and he knows way too much that a lot of people don't really wanna hear.  Julia is nice outside work, but she is a Food & Beverage infant.  Almost everyone except for Erin is greedy.  Devon and Brent turned out to be cool.  Dan is the man.  I guess I shouldn't be mad at people (and I'm not) because so many in the industry are greedy: nothing new.  I thought business it would pick up but it never did.  I went from nice paychecks/lots of hours, to less hours and making a LITTLE bit of tips.  Washout.  I was probably a little to spend-thrifty when I got to Portland.  But no sense crying over spilled pocketbooks! 


Portland just doesn't work that well for me.  At least not right now.  I mean I can be comfortable anywhere for a time.  But it's about function and finding a place that I love day in and day out.  I've been looking to venture and discover areas OUTSIDE Portland ever since I got here.  I long more for a tent by a lake and a campfire more than here.  Shit, I think I'd rather be back in Phoenix at this point (just a comparison, no one freak out please).


I am ridiculously excited to have a date set and an eye on the prize (with the other eye firmly set on my financial woes).  I will miss Gretchen, Bobby, Erin and Shawn.  We will cross paths again.

Often expressed, but rarely well-thought-out religious views by yours truly

Original Statement (by a friend):
if the church were christian- jesus would be a model for living not an object of worship; gracious behavior would be more important than right belief; questions would be more important than answers; meeting needs would be more important than maintaining institutions; this life would be more important than the afterlife; it would care more about love and less about sex; and peace would be more important than power.

Wednesday at 11:49pm · 
my 1st response (amongst others) 
if churches were truly "christian", they probably wouldn't even exist in the first place

16 hours ago · 

someone's (not the author's) response to me

Bradley, I respectfully disagree BUT I think I see where you are going, denominations may be the most divisive word. Worship/community and learning more deeply in a kind way is what I feel the church was established for.

13 hours ago ·

my ramble responses

Michelle, although I am an atheist I used to attend churches and synagogues. I always believed that churches should actually resemble small groups of a dozen, maybe a few more. How is the "church" suppose to hold each other accountable with larger congregations? Member-to-member member-to-preacher and preacher-to-member. I mean the preacher's job is pretty cut and dry if everyone's "flesh" falls short, meaning that his message always applies to all. And if accountability is ultimately the job of god, then there should be no need for a gathering of more than one anyway. I will give you that learning is a major congregational function, but again, what good does they other 50, 100 or 1000 members do for you?

53 minutes ago · 

..also tithing is ridiculous because it pre-supposes that churches were meant to be formed as they are, according to scriptural instruction (Letters from Paul, Acts 1&2, etc). Churches themselves, concepts such as the "New Jerusalem" COULD be churches and kingdoms of the the SPIRIT, and NOT in a material sense. I'm sure as a christian you have heard these arguments. I would say the bible IS open to interpretation whether it is the word of god (because we can't know the mind/intention of god) or written by man (obviously open to interpretation). This is obvious as diff preachers interpret diff things.

44 minutes ago · 

Addressing what Ellen was saying...I think churches, as we know them, must set boundaries on behavior, dogmas of belief and focuses of worship in order to survive by strengthening belief amongst/between worshipers: 1000 people waving hands in prayer, cements belief a lot better than a group of 10 doing the same..it's just the way social groups work...yet NOTHING heals and soothes like a good one-on-one with a trusted person in your life...a group can never do that, because a group naturally has more boundaries. Differences between people are usually divisive (sexual preference, political beliefs, social diffs). To attract congregation members requires that variety is celebrated, yet uniformity is the goal or the church cannot function for long.

35 minutes ago · 

Michelle, hopefully you catch my drift and I have not offended you. I do appreciate you giving me a respectful reply as we all need to be learned (and be reminded) about the world around us

33 minutes ago · 

Just added

Just added "Things I Like" menu.  For now I have started a modest beer list, with a wine list to follow.  I have also added Pictures Menu, with my most recent pics of Tahoe.  Again, more to come in that department.  Enjoy!


Beers I Love


Tahoe Pics - Sept 2010

Big Sky [Montana] Burrito

(Actual Spanish Peaks sub-range in Gallatin NF)
Yes, I've got Big Sky, Montana as wrapped up as can be from here; wrapped up like a warm delicious burrito!  Just gotta go there and seal the deal.  The place I'll be working for is Spanish Peaks, private ski and golf club with 700+ units on property..units =  big baller houses and lots!  They are located on the southern slope of Big Sky resort. Spanish Peaks is named after a sub-range of the Madison Range that runs between Bozeman and Ennis, Montana in the Gallatin NF.

I had an interview at today for a pretty cool bartending job in Portland, but it's too little too late.  I am dead-set on Big Sky.  My friend Matt said it best: "This will be good for the soul".  I agree wholeheartedly.  I will be leaving Bobby Winstead, Gretchen Isakson and Kenny Kraft here in Portland.  Bobby and Kenny I know previously.  Gretchen I met in Portland and is my only real Portland-only friend.  To her I am sorry.  

It's funny how now that I have made my decision, I can drive around the city and miss it as if A) I have already left, and B) I have been her enough time to actually miss it LOL.  I did integrate pretty quick here, and I gotta give Portland SOME of the props for that...HOWEVER, I think I'm finding that I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin, with my few belongings and with a sense of adventure.  The world seems just a bit smaller now.  And city-to-city (especially in the US), things are not that different.  I even felt comfortable when I visited London.  I like thinking that my life is bigger than just a city.  I like thinking that I can conquer huge parts of the outdoors.  In the end, I know i am just little me.  But why not imagine.

Looks like my good friend Matt is rolling with me to Big Sky.  Definitely makes the move a bit less scary (and a bit more spacious since we can tow a trailer with his jeep).  Not that I've gained that much stuff since I moved here in July, but I need somewhere to put my walmart sterilite dressers and storage bins ;-)

I remember it was only 5-6 months ago I was looking at pics of Portland, showing them to people, convincing them, and myself, that it was good move and a beautiful move.  Now, I'm doing it all over again.  I feel a bit more purpose this time tho.  I'm so glad I broke my own cycles by moving out of Phoenix.  Portland will always be here and I leave a small part of my heart here to come back to if I need or want to.

Friends are cool cause they say EVERYTHING you are already thinking...

Stacey Bogart Lindberg im stacey lindberg and i approve this message.........................

18 hours ago · Comment · 

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  2 people like this.
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    Vern Flanary That's good enough for me, I'm voting for you!!!!
    

    18 hours ago · 
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    Stacey Bogart Lindberg ‎.........i pledge to slander my opponents and be as corrupt a politician as i can possibly be............
    

    18 hours ago · 
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    Vern Flanary well, sounds like you got what it takes
    

    16 hours ago · 
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    Toby Mullane 
    
    

    That is not enough info.... Tell us every little thing your opponent has ever done wrong! But make sure you do not tell us what it is that YOU actually stand for. unless they are "glittering generalities" like.... I will fix the economy!!! lower taxes!! and create jobs!! You can say you like those things but should not tell us how you actually plan on fixing them. Oh yeah and you should throw in something about how the opposing party is trying to destroy our country, and how you cant trust politicians in Washington.... even though that is what you are trying to become!

    
    

    4 hours ago ·  ·  1 person
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    Vern Flanary lies, lies, lies we need more lies, tell us some
    

    3 hours ago · 
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    Stacey Bogart Lindberg ok folks i vow to take your money, eat it and shit it out right on your doorstep, i vow to not do what i say, and above all i vow to lie lie lie to get where i need to go, cause you know us politicians we all have our heads up our asses and dont give a shit about whats really going on. but its ok because i have a commercial on tv so i MUST be right!!! right?
    

    3 hours ago · 
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    Bradley Newman Toby! Very insightful! I could not have said it better
    

    31 minutes ago · 
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    Bradley Newman LMAO, you guys nail it down perfectly
    

    31 minutes ago · 

Solitude and other thoughts...

So this is the first time I've written since I got back from my Tahoe trip.  Seeing my best female friend Iona was awesome.  It was easy-going and fun.  Two good friends who love each other to death and are pretty comfortable despite long time apart and both being STUBBORN as hell!  We have never led each other astray.  We hope to live in the same vicinity again, and we will definitely will travel together again sometime soon.  She is one of the few people that understands my randomness: only because she doesn't judge me and trusts that whatever I am doing is for the best.  She, like my other close friends, know my dreams and realizes that they come from a good heart, with the best of intentions.  As she encourages me to live my dreams, I think I encourage her.  No matter how lonely you feel, you are never alone if you have another "lonely" friend chasing their own dreams!


Tahoe and Desolation Wilderness were incredible.  Insane scenery.  Granite marked with indigo blue and emerald green lakes.  Oases of trees and greenery popped up everywhere, with brush clinging close to the ground and waiting for the pine needles to drop, decay and compost into something resembling soil!  Fish would come up for their sunset feedings, sending small ripples through the early evening glass of Lake Fontanallis.  We had a beautiful fullish moon for all our nights.  The sun would set and the moon-glow would cast on the mountains before the moon actually rose above the hills.  We would all separate to enjoy the sunset every night, then make a couple evening preparations, then go into solitude again to enjoy the moon-rise.  I would watch it rise behind this one dead tree, seeing the silhouette of the tree send "cracks" across the disc of the moon.  On next to last day, I tried to summit Dick's Peak (9974ft) to no avail.  Couldn't get up the last 100 feet because of scree (loose rock) and incline was too steep.  Went up these other peaks at around 9700.  Amazing views that my camera could not capture because the battery died.  Wish I could share it, but it is set to remain a decidedly personal experience!


I spent a lot of time on my own.  Thinking from a safe place away from civilization.  It takes so long to sometimes to sit, relax and breathe. To slow the heart.  To be satisfied that all your comforts are properly setup; that your sense of comfort it sated.  It is so easy to be in the moment, to be present in a place like that.  Yet, at times I would still fight just for resistance's sake!  I had many times where I was like a child discovering new things around me.  Animals, plants, herbs.  It was cool to be in a new place, enjoying the newness.  This newness was not only in the nature around me, but that newness was kind of a slightly new self.

Iona gave me a book by Eckhart Tolle called, A New Earth.  For the first time in awhile, I feel like I can seek peace within myself.  I can be spiritual without having to confuse it with religion and an elusive concept of god.  It took me so long to realize my atheism.  And I was so turned of by religion and small-minded, personification concepts of god, that i allowed it to hinder seeking peace and truth for myself.  I am moving past that.  I am free to pick and choose my methods of meditation, self-discovery and happiness.  No guilt.  No veil of secrecy.  No walking on eggshells.  Good stuff.

I got to spend time with my best friend Tim and his mom (and sis Emily for a few).  I love his mom, what a cool person.  A lot like Tim.  The 3 of us took a few beers and went to Folsom Lake in Folsom, near Sacramento.  Watched the sunset.  Mama A learned a bit about me.  Tim and his Mom learned a little about each other.  We chilled for a couple days.  I met two of Tim's old school friends.  Todd is a cool cat.  Have to get some snowboarding in with him and Tim.  Unfortunately Tim's dad, Theo was on the road.  Emily, his sis, was virtually non-existent.  Such is high-school life tho.  I gave the book to Mama A.  It was at just the right time.  She needed it.  Just like I needed it when I got it (I actually needed it all along).  I lost my $300 Nixon Watch on the trip.  I let it go.  I wasn't gonna let it ruin my good time.  Fuck any object ruining my happiness!! 

I have come to peace with a few things, and found new things to stress about.  I want out of the city.  I have a new destination.  Big Sky, Montana!  I want the great wide open.  I want to see all four seasons.  My friend Matt might go with me, but I will go alone.  Population is about 1500.  Huge snowboard/ski resort.  I am reading a book by Robert Kull - Solitude: Seeking Wisdom in Extremes; A year alone in the Patagonia Wilderness.  Amazing book.  So many taboos about doing things alone.  Society is all about normalizing relationships, marriage, kids, family.  I want to deepen the relationships I have.  I have no time for trivialities.  Are we doomed to only be the people that those around us see?  Maybe for some.  But not for me.  I'm gonna go get me some!